Gentle Forbearance

August 27, 2010
Tricycle Daily Dharma
Gentle Forbearance

The first aspect of patience is gentle forbearance. We may be the exhausted parent of a child who is having a fit over some baffling homework; perhaps patience in this case means taking a few deep breaths instead of yelling in frustration. Or we may be on the verge of making a brilliant retort to a coworker, but we hold our tongue rather than say something hurtful. Even though our impatience is triggered, we can tap into the deeper reservoir of our motivation not to do harm. Gentle forbearance may feel difficult—even contrived—because it doesn’t constitute true acceptance of how things are. But it is nonetheless a critical aspect of patience because it helps us restrain ourselves long enough to determine the most skillful action for the moment.

- Michele McDonald, "Finding Patience"

This daily dharma landed in my mailbox last week at just the right time. I'm putting it here for safekeeping - to keep me, and everyone around me, safe:) Italics mine.