Sunday, December 15, 2013

delinquent adventure


Is anyone still out there? I wouldn't blame you if you'd thought I'd closed up shop. The lights have been out for a while, haven't they? And there was even Thanksgiving break in there - no excuse. This leaf is long gone. We've had ice and snow and we're in the gray days leading up to the solstice. I've been lost in the world of images and collaboration and going to work and coming home and fixing dinner and going to bed. It hasn't been a bad world to be lost in at all, actually. I've gotten back into Joy Harjo - can't stop listening to her Native Joy for Real album. I read her memoir Crazy Brave and it wrecked me. So raw and honest and, let's just admit it, kind of weird in that way that says Kindred Spirit to me. I also got way into the notion of prison hospice, thanks to my dear, amazing sister. If you're looking to explore grace and redemption, here are a couple of videos for you: Opening the Door and Serving Life.

I'm making some changes. I put in a formal request to go to school part-time, which would mean one class per quarter starting in February, which feels right on so many levels. Mostly I want to be able to be more present in the lives of those I love and more present in my own life. I've been studying astrology via tele-class with Debra Silverman - amazing! - and I can see how that Virgo moon takes over and it all becomes about making lists and getting things done and being productive. Very, very seductive. When I get pushed against the wall, which I'm guessing has become something of a self-created cycle for me, this is my response. But when I'm able to get clear on what I'm really here to do, either because I'm pushed so hard that I know I need to find another way, or in those sweet moments of pure relaxation, it isn't about those lists. It's about being present and really appreciating the beautiful life I have, with all of its fierce beauty and highs and lows. It's about enjoying and loving. Really, my friend, what else is there?