The second half of December was hard. One morning as I was driving to the bus I hit a deer and two days later a lovely young woman I knew was killed while crossing the street near the library. These brushes with mortality really rattled me. I tried to find my footing by seeking some sense of security, but that didn't work. What has helped more than anything has been acknowledging the kindness and connection all around me, which is there even in the simplest moments such as a smile from a stranger or a friendly greeting from a co-worker. So humble, but this has been emotional gold for me. When things are hard everything feels more raw and my inclination was to try to put on more armor, but it is clear that the real power is in the connection that comes out of feeling so deeply. Everything touches me, the good and the bad. And there's a fierce beauty to it all. When I think about how fleeting life is and wonder what I really want to accomplish it all just seems to come down to love and being present. A satisfying life is one where I love my life just as it is and the people around me just as they are and I'm awake to all of it. That feels like riches to me these days.
Along those lines, it is the time of year for choosing a new word. TRUE was my word for 2013 and I feel like I lived it completely. My compass was at my True North all year and I had so much fun! I traveled all over the place and spent meaningful time with so many of my favorite people. I realized I needed to bring formal learning back into my life. I had a ton of adventures. And as usual, my eyes were bigger than my stomach, so to speak, and I'm wanting to pull back a little. That's what I'm hoping for 2014. I'd love to really enjoy my life, to rest and to play and to savor and to be here now. So my word for 2014 is ENJOYING. I like to think that this more active form of the word will help me live it in the present. I'll keep you posted...
Happy new year, dear reader! May all your dreams and wishes come true in 2014.
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